Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
