She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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