i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
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