oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Still dying that you shit outside
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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