She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Dicks are not precious.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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