Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
