That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
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