Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The police scanner is talking about you again....
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
