I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
