Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
