I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize