I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
