I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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