my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
