Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
