so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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