everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Randomize
