I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
two words...techno handjob
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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