My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize