week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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