Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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