is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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