I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
