theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Randomize