he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
