clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
