I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
