she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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