Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Can I color on your dick again?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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