Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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