OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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