when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
