I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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