I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
