you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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