where am i from again
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Randomize
