call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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