Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
