he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
