Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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