tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
