thus making me awesome and them whores
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
