So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
