Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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