i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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