I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
