Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
