We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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