She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
