I think i sorta joined a cult last night
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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