how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
