C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
