She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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