the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
