oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
