neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize