Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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