Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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