Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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