I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
