She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize