I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
