I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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