too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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