i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
